Harry Potter and the Trot of the Maine
by Flickchick96
Summary: Harry Potter hates his relatives. Almost as much as his nemesis, Lord Voldemort. When the Dursleys' are forced to go into hiding at Harry's school, Hogwarts, his world turns over and around.  Literally?
1. Potions class

**( always wanted to do this… :D )**

** "Bloody hell, Hermione… Do you really need all that for one simple potions class?" Ron's eyes widened in shock as Hermione came running down the steps of the girl's dormitory, arms filled. **

** "Of course, Ron, these are study materials. Who knows what Snape will quiz us over? I would recommend that both of you bring as much as you can also- especially you, Harry." Harry looked at her filled arms and overstuffed book bag. Any minute she is going to pass out from exhaustion. **

** "I don't think I will, thanks. Probably just borrow some of yours". **

** "Me too! I need an "exceeds expectations" on my potions O.W.L or mum's going to kill me," Ron added. Hermione rolled her eyes. **

** "I have to study them too, guys" she stopped and readjusted her bag. Once they were seated in their assigned seats in potions, Harry leaned over and poked Ron. **

** "I need to talk to the both of you privately after class. It's important". Before Ron could answer, Snape walked through the dungeon doors, slamming them and locking them behind him. **

** "Homework out, parchment out, and no talking! I'm not in the mood to play games and I refuse to let any of you brats ruin my mood any more than it already is". Harry snickered loudly.**

** "Detention potter! My room after class! Weasly, Granger, and Longbottom you will also see me just for the mere fact that I don't like the four of you at all". Hermione's mouth dropped open. **

** "Professor, you can't do that! I've got studying to do and O. to pass…" **

** "I'm sure a girl who likes to show off her know it all skills in every class as much as you do will be fine on any test. I don't remember asking you to speak out loud, Granger. Let me assure you that I do not care about what you do in your free time at all, but when you are in my class, I am the boss. Do I make myself quite clear?" Hermione went pale and nodded very quickly. Snape spun around so fast that his black cloak flew out in all different directions. He speed walked to the blackboard and picked up a small piece of chalk. **

** "Turn to pages 69 and 70 in your book and read them carefully. There will be a quiz tomorrow over the pros and cons of Felix Felicis. Can anyone tell me what that is- anyone besides miss Granger?" Harry looked to his left and was not surprised to see Hermione's hand in the air. There were a few tears in the corner of her eye that came down as she slowly lowered her hand. Snape walked over to a boy Harry did not recognize and lowered his head so it was near the boy's terrified face. Snape's oily, greasy black hair swung out in front of his head. **

** "Can you tell me a pro of Felix Felicis?" The boy shook his head so fast; it could've fallen off. Snape leaned even closer. **

** "Pity. Add that to your homework tonight class! Learn about the potion in your book and be prepared for a quiz." Harry groaned along with the rest of the class. This was how it went for the entire hour. When they finally got dismissed Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville stayed behind to receive their cruel and unusual punishment. When they left, Harry lingered outside the door. He watched Snape check to see if anyone was still there and pull out something from his cloak. Snape looked at it longingly and set it down, when he went into his office. **

** Harry rushed over to see what Snape was looking at. It was a photograph. The girl who was smiling back at him from the picture was none other than his mother, Lily Potter. **


	2. The letter

Harry raced up to the Gryffindor Tower as fast as he could. When he reached the portrait of the fat lady, he came to a halt.

"Muppets" he panted like a dog out of breath.

"I should say so" she swung forward admitting Harry to go forth. Ron and Hermione were sitting in chairs around the fire looking solemn.

"You guys!" Harry raced toward them and started shaking uncontrollably.

"What is it, Harry? Cant you see were miserable?" snapped Hermione. Ron nodded in agreement.

"I just saw Snape looking at a photo of my mother. He wishes she were here! But… why? It's not like he knew hr personally or anything. imagine my mum being friends with Snape". He searched each one of their faces for a reaction. He only got one from Ron.

"Blimey! You reckon maybe they were? After all, you really don't know too much about your mum. Just that you have her eyes and that she was nice". Harry shook his head.

"I also know she was muggle born. She could have known him, but why woud she like him?" Hermione gave a big sigh.

"Honestly you two, you need to be focusing on school. While we are still at Hogwarts, that is your first priority". She reached into her bag and pulled out her "Standard book of spells grade 5", and her potions book. She opened the potions book to the page titled "Felix Felicis".

"My god, look at this!"- she wailed- "This is harder to make than Polyjuice potion!" Ron looked over her shoulder and tried copying down notes.

"Harry!" Ginny was running toward them so fast it was like she as being chased. She had an envelope in her fist.

"Hey Ginny. What's up?" Harry asked as she caught her breath.

"Just ran down from the Owlery"- she panted- "I saw another owl come in with a letter addressed to you. But… look at the return address". Harry took the envelope from her.

"It's from the Dursleys? Why would they be writing to me?" he wondered. He carefully opened the letter as though it was a figment of his imagination. Vernon Dursely's messy scrawl started back at him.

"Some of your lot is taking me, Petunia, and Dudley to your mad school. This lord voldey-thing has apperantly tracked our house looking for you, and some weird… erm… people are taking us to you. Your job is to keep us safe until you become 17. Then you go off while we go into hiding. Meet us at the front of your school at 9:30 on October 12th. Trust us, we don't want to be there just as much as you don't to be there."

VERNON DURSLEY

Harry's face turned green. Hermione snatched the letter from his hand and started reading aloud. When she got to the part about Voldemort's tracking she stopped.

"Harry… you don't think he is going to attack you next summer when you go back, do you?" Harry shrugged.

"I'm not going back, Hermione. If voldemort"- Ron winced- "found the house then its not safe anymore". Ginny pulled his shoulder down so that he fell backwards next to her on the couch.

"If you stayed with us he would have a hard time finding you. We are very safe in the burrow." She assured him. Ron rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, and I'm sure he would fit in nicely sleeping in your room, Ginny. Harry, its not that I don't want you to stay with us, its just that you-know-who knows us as your friends. None of us would be safe. He would come down on us like a nuclear bomb! Besides"… he sneered. " You would look for any excuse to snog him." Ginny blushed while Hermione slapped Ron in the shoulder.

"You are being ridiculous, Ron. But you are right about one thing. Harry can't be seen at the burrow much less live there. You could come stay with me and my parents. They re muggles just like your aunt and uncle. Voldemort, oh shut up Ron, will never look there". Harry stood up, suddenly.

"No. I am not putting any of you guys in danger. Its cruel and selfish. I'll just talk to Dumbledore." With that he walked up the stairs to the boys dormitory to get ready for bed. At long last he crawled into his five poster bed and without even taking off his glasses, he fell into a warm and dreamless sleep.


	3. Dursleys dilemma

October 12, 9:30 sharp, Harry made his way down to the great double doors of the Hogwarts castle. There, standing huddled together were all three Dursleys' accompanied by Dumbledore. They were looking around as if trying to see something.

"Boy! Where is this ruddy castle of yours?" bellowed Vernon Dursley. Harry looked at Dumbledore who placed a hand on Uncle Vernon's shoulder.

"Guests… we are standing in the foyer of Hogwarts. Being muggles, you cannot see it, for there has been a charm placed over it many a year ago. When I give you this wine you will see what I mean. I have poured a potion into it. Now, now" he said, noticing their startled and terrified faces.

"There is no reason to be afraid. I can assure you it is perfectly fine to drink". He handed each of the Dursleys a wine glass and started to open the bottle.

"D-do you h-have any grape juice instead for my Dudders?" whispered Harry's aunt Petunia. "He is not yet of drinking age for wine".

Harry thought that Dumbledore would get annoyed and deny her request, but he just smiled.

"Certainly". He held out his hand and with a small pop, a house elf appeared before them holding a tiny container of grape soda.

"Thank you, Konomahn." Dumbledore drew his wand from his cloak and mumbled some words over the drink. The bottle exploded in slow motion so that Harry could see every tiny drop in mid air. The liquid turned a blood red color to a shiny gold. It shimmered silently in the morning light and eventually turned back into a brilliant shade of violet. The contents of the bottle scurried together and back into the bottle which resealed itself.

"Whoa"… everyone watching said at once, including Harry. Dumbledore handed the drink to Dudley and raised an empty glass.

"Drink up" he chuckled. The Dursleys, afraid of what would happen if they refused, drank and didn't stop until there was nothing left. When they looked up again, they realized that they were, indeed standing at the entranceway of a grand castle.

"Good lord…" gasped Uncle Vernon. Aunt Petunia just stared and Dudley looked like he was going to faint.

"Yes. Now that we can all see the magic and beauty of Hogwarts, let me explain some things to you.

"You are here as guests and not students and faculty. Of course you will be granted the same privileges as both. Dudley is more than welcome to attend classes with Harry so he would be entertained?" Both Harry and Dudley shook their heads, eyes pleading.

"All right… Vernon and Petunia. You are welcome to explore the castle as long as you stay away from the forbidden third floor" Harry let out a loud laugh. Dumbledore gave him a look that said if he ever delivered them to that floor bad things would happen to him.

"Moving on. Stay away from that floor and any door that is locked. Our stair cases like to move, and will immediately recognize you as muggles. Just tell them clearly where you want to go and they will transport you there like a normal muggle escalator. I would also advise you not to listen to any student who tells you to go in any room they had to use magic to open. Meal times are at normal hours. Any questions?"

"Yes sir… where will we sleep?" squeaked Dudley. That was the first time Harry heard him talk all morning. Dumbledore bowed his head slightly.

"Ah yes, of course. You will be sleeping in the room of requirement. Just like it sounds, you just wish for something and it will appear before you. However, do not get too greedy. These things have a lot of karma involved and you will pay greatly if you abuse the powers of the room of requirement. I believe Harry, here, knows where it is located?"

"Yes sir" Harry nodded.

"Splendid. I hope you enjoy your stay here but I am afraid I must be going. See you all at lunch!" Dumbledore walked away leaving Harry alone with the Dursleys and Konomahn. It suddenly felt very awkward.

"You can… er… go back now" Harry told the elf. He held out his hand and bowed deeply before he disappeared.

"Uh, yeah. Follow me to the room." He turned and started toward a staircase.

"Are we just supposed to carry our bags up all those stairs?" snapped Uncle Vernon returning back to his old grumpy self.

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Here-" Harry pulled out his own wand and pointed it at the luggage.

"Levicorpus" He said clearly and to the Dursley's amazement, it floated a few feat about the floor. Everything and everyone followed Harry as he led them up to the Room of Requirement.


	4. Howlers are the highlight

"I hate them. I hate them so much!" Harry plopped down on the couch, exhausted. Not only did he have to help the Dursleys with the room, but he also had to unpack them… without magic.

"Well man up. You still have homework to do" Hermione was not in a good mood either. Ron had been her partner for a project in potions and ended up blowing up the cauldron. It made Neville's project get a higher grade!

"You are just so pleasant to be around", Harry said sarcastically. He leaned back onto the plush velvet coating and sighed. It wasn't even noon, and he was already for bed.

"So I think I figured out why Snape had a picture of your mum". Ron exclaimed happily, after a few seconds of silence. Harry squinted his eyes shut. For 8 straight hours last night, he and Ron were coming up with reasons. None were even close to realistic. Eventually, the humor just got old.

"Not this stupid nonsense again" grumbled Hermione. They both ignored her.

"What now, Ron"?

"Well, maybe she was part of a gang. You know… pulling off the whole "sweet on the outside, devil on the inside" kind of thing? Maybe she was the leader, Snape loved her, and now that she is dead he's gone mad! So he takes it all out on you!" Ron sat back, looking very pleased with himself.

Harry and Hermione looked at one another, then back at Ron in confusion.

"That… has to be THE stupidest thing you have ever said in your life!"

Hermione stood up, picked up her quills and walked out of the common room without a word.

"Where is she-?"

"Dunno". The bell rang for lunch.

The Dursleys were sitting at the Gryffindor table when Harry walked in. they thought it was the safest place. The stereotype at Hogwarts really is enforced. Harry was annoyed that Dumbledore knew it too.

He sat down as far away from them as possible, but they just got up and moved next to him.

"Where's the food?" Dudley asked. Now that he knew he was getting food, he was back to normal. His chubby hand clutched the fork and knife so tightly, Harry was almost feeling bad for it. The short wavy black hair barely covered his forehead anymore.

Before Harry could tell him to shove off, the food appeared in front of them, tonight on silver platters. Harry didn't know who was more excited… Dudley for seeing the food, or Vernon and Petunia for seeing the real silver platters.

They started stuffing silverware and plates into Petunia's purse, but Dumbledore came up behind them.

"You can stuff all you want, but as soon as you step outside Hogwarts it vanishes". They looked up at him surprised, and slightly guilty. Harry and Ron tried to cover their laughter with little success.

Hermione never showed up for lunch. Dudley made sure to eat her portion as well as his own. Harry as surprised there was actually anything left.

Owl post brought a surprise. Someone actually sent Snape a howler. It exploded at the staff table.

"YOU ARE A SLIPPERY, SLIMY GIT! TAKE A SHOWER! HAHAHAHAHA… AND BUY SOME PRODUCTS FROM FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!" then it ripped itself up at his fingertips. Harry had thought he had seen Snape at his angriest, but apparently not. Though the communication was completely nonverbal, Harry knew. They all knew. Whoever the genius was who set that had better be laughing now… it wasn't going to be good later.

"Hey guys… what did you think of our little surprise?" Fred appeared on Ron's left, George on the right.

"Why am I not surprised that it was you", Harry laughed. "That was brilliant". Ron opened his eyes wide.

"Are you both completely mental? Snape'll have your arse for this one!"

George waved him off.

"Not to worry little bro… we got it covered"

"Yeah, we talked to Lupin. Asked him the worst thing he did to Snape as a kid. He said the howler was priceless, he was right!" Dudley moved his head toward the conversation.

"What was that, Harry?" Dudley was still shoving food into his mouth.

Fred turned his head sideways to look at Dudley.

"You have never seen a howler? What, you living under a rock? You call yourself a wizard?"

"Fred, George, meet my cousin. He is not a wizard. Dudley, is just staying here for the time being". Harry hated how that came out of his mouth. It was almost to painful to hear himself say it.

They shrugged it off and went to go bother someone else.

"Harry, I want to be a wizard too! I asked Dumbledore if I could join your classes with you. He made a deal with me. If I could make better grades than you, he would give me my own powers. A stick thing and everything!"

Harry chocked on his pudding. Ron thumped him on the back until it came flying back out his mouth.

"What?" How could Dumbledore do this to him? Dudley was very motivated to do things when the reward was worth it. If the ability for magic was on the line… he was screwed.

"Uh… that's great Dudley. But you will never make higher grades than me". Now he would have to pull a Hermione. He knew he was just kidding himself. He pushed back the bench, and stood up. He left the great hall without another word.


End file.
